Struggling one morning to get zipped up, fighting against time and the stiffness of a frozen shoulder that has also traveled through my neck and lower back, I started to sweat, clench, and become overwhelmed with frustration.
I stopped , rested, and tried again. And again, and again, and again. My frustration grew into anger. My jaws clenched even harder . Thinking about how long this was taking me, the pain felt like a sentence of weak, vulnerable, dependency.
I took a deep breath and noticed this. Noticed the emotions and thoughts running through my mind more deeply.
I thought… insanity! I was trying to force my body to flex in ways that it couldn’t, and causing myself more pain in the process.
I allowed my body to cool off. And tried to think of a different way. My thoughts didn’t want to let. I should be able to do this, I did it before.
I spoke out loud the pain I felt, where I felt it, and how it felt. (Yeah, I’m a bit weird that way. My massage therapist had suggested this, actually.). It worked!
This experience from the surface may seem, blah, so what.
From the inside, I realized several things. First , forcing something over and over again gets me no where, except frustrated, angry, and tense.
Secondly, to be kinder to my body. My shoulder in pain, yet I persisted to push that arm to move in ways that it just couldn’t. In all that I do, to stop pushing myself, and to be more compassionate with myself, my abilities and flexibility.
Lastly, I’m very persistent and determined. But listen to my body. Trust that there’s another way. A way that feels good, that is kind, that is compassionate, and to give myself a space of grace.
Paying attention to our inner struggle, is where we are able to notice ourselves, our thoughts, and where we can become more compassionate with ourselves to let go of the struggle by creating a shift in our frame of mind and begin to see things in anew light.