This morning a feeling of loneliness washes over me. My first instinct is to think of something that makes me feel connected, but instead today I’m deciding to dive in.
The air feels dense, it’s quiet. I sense nothing. No one in the house, no sign of life but my own.
Am I connecting to myself becomes my first question. Well, apparently so, since I’m noticing this feeling in the first place.
Where have I felt this before? Memories of feeling so alone when people were mean to me. I felt the most alone. Connected to someone else’s criticism, anger, blame, shaming, into me.
It’s interesting that I would feel so much, connecting to their feelings, and yet feel so alone.
I realize I often lose myself in other people’s suffering and forget about me, what I feel, what I think, where I stand.
As I’m writing this, I’m feeling more present in myself, less feeling of loneliness.
Somehow, writing these feelings, thoughts, insights on paper brings me closer to my heart. Allowing the feelings to flow through words, helps me to feel connected even more.
More than spoken language, these words share a lasting vibe that I can go back to, reconnect to in the future.
I’ll able to feel into this again, reminding myself of this way of reconnecting to my inner world in times of unexpected loneliness.
Taking it all in, breathing into my body, paying exquisite attention to the very details of the sensations in me.
Loving them, embracing them, and honoring me for this moment of self awareness to love myself and empathize with the self.